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A name like chocolate, melting on my tongue

I was honored to participate in the launch event for a literary journal called Sinister Wisdom recently, and to read a condensed version of an essay included in the most recent issue, number 132. You can watch the full program for the event here, but I'm also pasting the piece below in case you'd like to read it. It's about the power of gender examination, and the importance of names. A Name Like Chocolate, Melting on My Tongue When I first met my transgender spouse Declan, I was still a girl. Not by age, but by assignment at birth and inculturation. My hair was long, my heels high, and makeup was a requirement before leaving the house.    Declan was never a girl though he wore bras he hated, gave up dreams of being a ball player, and did his best pretending to be someone he wasn’t. When we met, we were both married to men and proud of ourselves for performing the role of excellent wife. We became deep friends. And then we fell in love.   For

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