First born of my first born
Our daughter had a baby last month. Declan asked what the "new shape" was that I mention in the last line of the poem below. I replied that I didn't know, but what I'm sure of is that it is lumpy and expanding with emotion in search of words. Watching Newness: a note to Theodora In the days following the day you emerged from warm safety into a shocking world first born of my first born I got to watch you eyes flexing toward focus lips exploring the idea of hunger and satiation soul grappling with sensations of separation and self all of it new for you and for her too, your mother. I watched her as she watched you examining her face as she examined yours as I’d examined hers in the days following the day she emerged, like you miraculously manifest. I watched as she watched time unfolding the wonder of the moment pressing my heart into a new shape.