HOW GREAT THOU ART: TRANSCENDENCE AND IMMANENCE IN A TIME OF FEAR

It's hard to summarize the state of my spiritual self these days, other than to acknowledge that my heart hungers for truth and resonates with the idea that divinity=love. The vast majority of my seeking has been through the lens of Christianity, and so despite having deconstructed from the form of it in which I was immersed, the person of Jesus continues to be the simplest way for me to contemplate the world through a spiritual lens. Perhaps someday I will plumb the richness of other faith traditions, experiencing God in new ways as a result. I hope for t hat day. In the meantime, I continue the searching through the most familiar lane.

Here's a recent exploration sprung from the troubling days in which we find ourselves, excerpted from a piece which appeared in the wonderful magazine Earth and Altar.

HOW GREAT THOU ART: TRANSCENDENCE AND IMMANENCE IN A TIME OF FEAR

Contemplating transcendent aspects of the divine creates a slow-burning fullness in my chest. It lacks the mystical sharpness of St. Teresa’s fiery sword, but when it happens, I feel my desperate hold on the material world loosening and catch glimmers of mysteries hiding within. I tried to transmit this wonder through a presentation at a retreat held by my church years ago. The place saved me at a dark moment, and I was eager to give back. I wanted my friends to experience the comfort of that warm fullness too. The grandeur. The invitation. The challenge.

We gathered in a monastery chapel and the guitarist began strumming the chords of “How Great Thou Art.” People relaxed into the soft familiar progressions. When he finished, I stepped into the silence with words which pulsed along with my heart:

Oh Lord, My God

When I, in awesome wonder

Consider all the worlds thy hands have made

I see the stars, I hear the roaring thunder

Thy power throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, my savior God, to thee

How great thou art, how great thou art

Then sings my soul, my savior God to thee

How great thou art, how great thou art.

After speaking the lyrics, I invited the assembled to marvel with me at the glorious force which set molecules and galaxies into motion, and to enter the vastness of space existing between atoms and stars, joining our hearts to reach for their singing. I’d helped the church launch by developing a website and printed materials, leading women’s groups, and organizing neighborhood outreach efforts. Serving saved me as my marriage entered its death spiral, and church became home. I had no idea that I’d soon be kicked out.

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